Diffence in Outlook

The concept of allowances aren't just for kids in this new world of spending less then you make. I know of a few couples in our social group that have one or both of the parents on allowances. It is their way to letting the person receiving the allowance have control of deciding what things to spend on (frivolous or not can't be opined on by another) and letting the family budgeter know that only X amount will be spent in this area. Some folks seem to spend it all during the period before the next allotment comes, others save up for bigger toys/projects. Not too unlike the difference between those that live paycheck to paycheck and those that save.

While there are days when I sigh about the latest lunch out, or question an expense, but fundamentally, my DH and I look at our money differently. We are well off, there is no doubt about that. Our salaries allow us to pay all our bills and save some each month, but we also don't spend much. Mall shopping is not a pastime, we tend to focus on the needed errands and kid events on the weekends and don't do much else. Boring, but cheap. So my husband doesn't worry about a lunch here or there (most days he and I bring packed lunches). I tend to worry more about creating habits that would be detrimental to our goal of paying off our last debt and saving to do the bigger, fun things we have planned for the future.

At the core of the difference is the perception that we are "fine" financially since I always get the bills paid and any financed debt paid off way early. While I am more immersed in the details of our income and outflow, and see the difference 200 can make in a month. What I struggle with is the fact that he doesn't spend rashly (or even buy big purchases - that falls to me), so what is my hang up? We have all read about punishing yourself on a diet all of the sudden can cause irrational eating (or spending) as a reward for being "good" for a short time. So if I let the few sodas and lunches go, will that keep the rest of our budget in lean, mean shape? It seems to, but I don't really know if it does. (my fear of entering into budget wars in another post soon) If we continue to make substantial forward progress, is that enough?

So would an allowance be more detrimental to our relationship then it would help our budget? I wouldn't want him to think I don't trust him with our money. What have you done in this area? Does one person carry the strategic money thinking tasks? How do they communicate their decisions to the other spouse?